a special baby showing
I am not a blogger. But I have to get something off my chest. Today I went to the movies at 11am. It seemed like a good idea at the time. My friend and I had been wanting to see He’s Just Not That Into You since it came out. We had the day off as did my kids. So, the 4 of us traveled to the theater. We went in, bought our tickets, used the bathroom, decided to pass on the Milk Duds and went inside. At first glance the theater was pretty full for 11am during the day knowing some schools still were in session, but we promptly found 4 seats not too far back and not too far forward. When I sat down I suddenly noticed that there were about 50 baby strollers lining the screen. I began to look around and noticed baby strollers lining the aisles in a slightly fire hazardous manner. Soon I began to hear the deafening chorus of many different babies ranging from absolute newborn to around 18 months – coos, joyful screams, angered screams, hunger cries.
I turned to my friend and said, “What is going on here? Are we in the right theater?”
Keep in mind, my friend is 22. She has no kids.
She replied, all knowing, “Oh, this must be one of those special showings for babies.”
Special showings for babies? I felt so dumb I actually thought to myself that maybe really special babies might want to see this movie too. Or wait, what planet am I on? It’s not clear in my memory whether I actually verbalized my confusion, but she answered nonetheless the question she knew I must be asking.
She said, “Since people get mad at moms and dads when they bring babies into the theater, they sometimes designate a special show so that they can bring their babies into the theater and then no one can yell at them.”
Blinking, still utterly flabbergasted, I sat back and listened to the hum of sounds described above while waiting for the movie to begin. I tried to figure this out in my head and make sense of it. It wasn’t that I was upset that I was in a 750 seat theater with approximately 300 babies – I mean, think about it… it’s what comedies are made of. We actually began to laugh at it and make the best of it. But, there was no way and probably will never be any way that I would understand why … why a mother of a baby, who has a 50/50 chance of he or she making lots of noise in a 2 + hour period of time would want to go to a movie where there would be 300 or more of the same. Sure there’s a 50/50 chance your baby won’t cry or make any noise during a 2.5 hour period, but now you have a 50/50 chance that the other 299 might. That’s approximately 150 babies making noise at any given time... During a movie... A heavily dialogued movie... A comedy where if a baby screams, NO one, including you with your screaming baby, gets to enjoy the joke. We’ll leave out the idea that I came to realize it was utterly inappropriate movie for my 14 year olds let alone a small child. I’m sure my 14 year olds' minds were much more damaged by some of the unnecessities than the infants. So much for PG-13. But I digress.
In reality, here is the question. Why would you submit to such an idiotic outing? Was someone offended that they were asked to leave by the other moviegoers because babies at the movies have become as frowned on as a group of gang bangers? Did someone get SO offended that they approached the movie theater and asked for these special showings? And if you are THIS person, were you upset that they imply that you could be spoiling someone else’s good time by “adding your own soundtrack?”
You get everyone up, dressed warm, force your child into a germ ridden theater with hundreds of other children and pay $8 per person for a matinee because it’s your RIGHT to take your child to the movies even though neither you or your fellow movie goers can hear a thing. Why can't people get it through their heads that it's ok to understand that there are some places where it just doesn't make sense to bring a baby let alone 300. Children are annoying. Your child - is ANNOYING. Get over it. Your child/my child will be annoying pretty much until he/she graduates from college. And even then, if you keep sending them messages that everything they do can be excused because there will always be a special day set aside for them they will undoubtedly be annoying and obnoxious their entire life.
My problem with this goes way beyond taking a small baby to a theater. The other part of this is that I would get the whole notion of having a "special baby showing" if the parents with especially noisy babies would still take their children out so the rest of these moms whose babies were somehow quiet for 2.5 hours can hear and enjoy the movie they paid for. Does it make any sense to go to this special showing because you all of a sudden will be accepted and no one will yell at you even though no one can hear anything?
One last question about the name of the outing. Shouldn't it be called a Special Mommy Showing? But the truth is in the title of the outing: Special BABY showing. Oh, it's for your baby! So your BABY can go to the movies... WHAT? No! It's for the Mom, isn't it? So that the mom can get to the movie that maybe she can afford the $8 but not the $20 + $22 for the babysitter and movie with her husband that night. I get that. So.... then shouldn't it be on the contingency that your child remains quiet? Not perfectly quiet, mind you, but quiet enough so it doesn't sound like your livingroom, but a perhaps a slightly noisier theater where no one really is disturbed. The fact is some seemed to think it was their right that even if their babies screamed for 15 minutes at a time that they could just sit there. Does that make any sense? Some did take their babies out, but others just sat there and let their kids scream for long periods of time. ???
So by now because of all my harsh words you have completely forgotten about the fact that I too have children. They’re 14 now. But my kids didn’t see the inside of a movie theater until they were 4. And guess what – we all lived! No one ever had to tell me to shut my kid up during a movie, because it was just common sense to either pay a babysitter so we could go sans children, or just stay home. There are still a slew of movies I have in my Netflix queue that I did not see from 1994 through 1997. I’m 37 now, but at 22-24 I already knew that sometimes I was going to just have to deal with the fact that no one wanted to hear my screaming kids. Even parents of screaming kids don't want to hear YOUR screaming kids – I’m sure of it.
Anyone will tell you, I love babies. Love them. But this is a movie, for goodness sakes. I guarantee half of those people who took their kids will have to go again because they, like me, couldn't hear most of it. So, what was the point?
Disclaimer: This was a post from my facebook "notes" from February of 2009. It got a lot of comments at the time and discussion. Mostly, I just liked the way I wrote it. If ever my facebook account goes by the wayside, I'd like to keep it out there. Comments are welcome.
I turned to my friend and said, “What is going on here? Are we in the right theater?”
Keep in mind, my friend is 22. She has no kids.
She replied, all knowing, “Oh, this must be one of those special showings for babies.”
Special showings for babies? I felt so dumb I actually thought to myself that maybe really special babies might want to see this movie too. Or wait, what planet am I on? It’s not clear in my memory whether I actually verbalized my confusion, but she answered nonetheless the question she knew I must be asking.
She said, “Since people get mad at moms and dads when they bring babies into the theater, they sometimes designate a special show so that they can bring their babies into the theater and then no one can yell at them.”
Blinking, still utterly flabbergasted, I sat back and listened to the hum of sounds described above while waiting for the movie to begin. I tried to figure this out in my head and make sense of it. It wasn’t that I was upset that I was in a 750 seat theater with approximately 300 babies – I mean, think about it… it’s what comedies are made of. We actually began to laugh at it and make the best of it. But, there was no way and probably will never be any way that I would understand why … why a mother of a baby, who has a 50/50 chance of he or she making lots of noise in a 2 + hour period of time would want to go to a movie where there would be 300 or more of the same. Sure there’s a 50/50 chance your baby won’t cry or make any noise during a 2.5 hour period, but now you have a 50/50 chance that the other 299 might. That’s approximately 150 babies making noise at any given time... During a movie... A heavily dialogued movie... A comedy where if a baby screams, NO one, including you with your screaming baby, gets to enjoy the joke. We’ll leave out the idea that I came to realize it was utterly inappropriate movie for my 14 year olds let alone a small child. I’m sure my 14 year olds' minds were much more damaged by some of the unnecessities than the infants. So much for PG-13. But I digress.
In reality, here is the question. Why would you submit to such an idiotic outing? Was someone offended that they were asked to leave by the other moviegoers because babies at the movies have become as frowned on as a group of gang bangers? Did someone get SO offended that they approached the movie theater and asked for these special showings? And if you are THIS person, were you upset that they imply that you could be spoiling someone else’s good time by “adding your own soundtrack?”
You get everyone up, dressed warm, force your child into a germ ridden theater with hundreds of other children and pay $8 per person for a matinee because it’s your RIGHT to take your child to the movies even though neither you or your fellow movie goers can hear a thing. Why can't people get it through their heads that it's ok to understand that there are some places where it just doesn't make sense to bring a baby let alone 300. Children are annoying. Your child - is ANNOYING. Get over it. Your child/my child will be annoying pretty much until he/she graduates from college. And even then, if you keep sending them messages that everything they do can be excused because there will always be a special day set aside for them they will undoubtedly be annoying and obnoxious their entire life.
My problem with this goes way beyond taking a small baby to a theater. The other part of this is that I would get the whole notion of having a "special baby showing" if the parents with especially noisy babies would still take their children out so the rest of these moms whose babies were somehow quiet for 2.5 hours can hear and enjoy the movie they paid for. Does it make any sense to go to this special showing because you all of a sudden will be accepted and no one will yell at you even though no one can hear anything?
One last question about the name of the outing. Shouldn't it be called a Special Mommy Showing? But the truth is in the title of the outing: Special BABY showing. Oh, it's for your baby! So your BABY can go to the movies... WHAT? No! It's for the Mom, isn't it? So that the mom can get to the movie that maybe she can afford the $8 but not the $20 + $22 for the babysitter and movie with her husband that night. I get that. So.... then shouldn't it be on the contingency that your child remains quiet? Not perfectly quiet, mind you, but quiet enough so it doesn't sound like your livingroom, but a perhaps a slightly noisier theater where no one really is disturbed. The fact is some seemed to think it was their right that even if their babies screamed for 15 minutes at a time that they could just sit there. Does that make any sense? Some did take their babies out, but others just sat there and let their kids scream for long periods of time. ???
So by now because of all my harsh words you have completely forgotten about the fact that I too have children. They’re 14 now. But my kids didn’t see the inside of a movie theater until they were 4. And guess what – we all lived! No one ever had to tell me to shut my kid up during a movie, because it was just common sense to either pay a babysitter so we could go sans children, or just stay home. There are still a slew of movies I have in my Netflix queue that I did not see from 1994 through 1997. I’m 37 now, but at 22-24 I already knew that sometimes I was going to just have to deal with the fact that no one wanted to hear my screaming kids. Even parents of screaming kids don't want to hear YOUR screaming kids – I’m sure of it.
Anyone will tell you, I love babies. Love them. But this is a movie, for goodness sakes. I guarantee half of those people who took their kids will have to go again because they, like me, couldn't hear most of it. So, what was the point?
Disclaimer: This was a post from my facebook "notes" from February of 2009. It got a lot of comments at the time and discussion. Mostly, I just liked the way I wrote it. If ever my facebook account goes by the wayside, I'd like to keep it out there. Comments are welcome.
